People can only be who they are and they can only do what they know to do, inspite of what we think they should know or how we think they should act, or even in spite of how they think they should be or what they think or say that they know, they can only be who they really are on the deepest levels of consciousness and they can onl do what they know to do. - An excerpt from Maya Angelou

I love this reading. It is so true and really helps me to avoid disappointment.

I believe that if your not going to be a part of the solution then there is no need is complaining.

The amazingly wonderful thing is that we start out in this world needing someone to hold our hand and walk us through day to day things in life....and.... we end up the exact same way.

My dogs know I am sick.
They sit at my feet and lick and lick and lick.
My chihuahua gets up on my lap
He puts his head on my leg and quietly takes a nap

My lab Mindy, she's a big girl
She lays at my feet watching me
She paced the halls while I was gone
But when I came home she did not jump up like she normally does
She walked with me to my seat on the couch
and brought me a blanket in her mouth

My dogs know that I am sick
And I am enjoying all of their love
Even if it is just for a little bit.

My daugter asked me today what I want to be when I grow up
I thought and thought and laughed out loud
How can answering such a simple question be so tough
I thought and thought and looked up at the clouds

I wrote a note and read a book, what ever do I want to be when I'm fully cooked
I thought and thought and laughed out loud
Do I want to be a doctor, a nurse, a student, a writer of best selling book
I thought and thought and looked up beyond the clouds

I think I know, oh wait I am grown
I thought and laughed and chuckled to myself
My life is great as it is now, there's no need to change a thing or frown
I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, sister and student,
A cook, and banker, farmer, stylist, driver, baker, all the above

I thought and I thought and looked at the clouds and laughed out loud

I am all grown up and I want to be exactly who I am, just me

It has occured to me now in my moment of weakness that my biggest fear is failure. I can not stand the thought of not succeeding. But I am now also re-evaluating what success is for me. I thought I was clear on what my idea of success is but I am feeling a little shaky now and maybe open for new possibilities. What I once equated to failure now seems to me to be the exact opposite. It is funny how being sick gives me the time and clarity to open up and really evaluate what my definition of certain concepts really is. It is so true that we go through different phases of life and I am so very different at 30 + than I was at 20 or 25 or 28 even. Wow.....I think it's times like this that I grow the most.

I have been away for a while. It is odd how we can be the picture of health one day and over night be ill for no apparent reason. It has made me think now that we have subconscious connections with people in this world and we feed emotionally off of one another. When we suffer emotionally we suffer physically. I am looking into this line of reasoning. Any comments?