Determination

I am determined to succeed.
I am determnined to reach my goals.
I am determined to do my best.
I am determined to run the race at a steady pace.
I am determined to persevere.
I am determined to remain motivated.
I am determined to maintain determination.

I am one step closer to achieving.

Ain't Love Grand

I learned today that love ain't grand. It's work, it's tears, it's laughter and sometimes yes it's pain. Love is crazy, insane, and pure oxygen. It's bliss and pure and innocent and well I guess it is grand. It's wonderful and hard and rewarding, annoying and satisfying.

My friends mom is on life support and although I don't know her mom it hurts me so I guess I love her.

I love my four legged babies. They love unconditionally, they are unconditionally loyal and when they make a mistake they are quick to apologize and try to make things right. They never question me and they never talk back. They love to love and play and want to make me happy. They are just perfect and I can't imagine for the life of me why anyone would cause harm to an animal. But I love my two doggies, they are part of our family.

Rush, rush, rush

In a mad dash, back to school for the kids is tomorrow and my parents just moved. I learned something during this hectic time. People can only be who they really are deep down inside. Just because I choose to treat people with dignity and respect does not mean that others around me will even if we do share the same mother and father.

Marriage

You know what I am realizing is that love is when you get the other person's crazy, only it's not crazy to you, it's perfectly sane. It's when the other person get's your insanity only it's not insane, to them it makes perfect sense. It's when everyone else says I'd never put up with that and you say I can't imagine not having this chaos to juggle and manage. That is the key to a good marriage. I get his crazy and to him I'm sane. No one else could or ever would get my crazy, they'd think I was just plain crazy but to him I am his missing link. He's my favorite person.

Cross Country Adventures

I have been on a journey of self discovery and realization that has led me across the country. On my journey I have seen some wonderfully awe inspiring things and have been incredibly humbled and strengthened. I realize that sometimes obstacles present themselves in the form of people (stiff necked, hypocritical and rigid), tests and trials (perhaps a medical crisis), or limitations (physical or mental).

But no matter how big the obstacle may seem faith can concur all.

I have learned that and I am humbled and grateful for this experience through the canyon, desert, up the mountain and in the valley.

Mighty and Humbling

I was in the Grand Canyon last night and it was both a mighty and humbling experience. As I battle serious health concerns I took a moment out to just breath and just be....I am in love!

This is as close to God as one can humanly get without going to heaven. I am both invigorated and humbled at the same time.

I am in love!!!

Life is like a white sheet of paper and a black magic marker. At birth we are given a clean sheet of white paper and a black magic marker. Every experience makes a mark on our paper. Some are good, some are bad but they are all there. They can't be erased but in time they can fade. They can be drawn over or reinforced sometimes depending upon how good or bad they are. My white paper is written on but not yet full. How about yours?

People can only be who they are and they can only do what they know to do, inspite of what we think they should know or how we think they should act, or even in spite of how they think they should be or what they think or say that they know, they can only be who they really are on the deepest levels of consciousness and they can onl do what they know to do. - An excerpt from Maya Angelou

I love this reading. It is so true and really helps me to avoid disappointment.

I believe that if your not going to be a part of the solution then there is no need is complaining.

The amazingly wonderful thing is that we start out in this world needing someone to hold our hand and walk us through day to day things in life....and.... we end up the exact same way.

My dogs know I am sick.
They sit at my feet and lick and lick and lick.
My chihuahua gets up on my lap
He puts his head on my leg and quietly takes a nap

My lab Mindy, she's a big girl
She lays at my feet watching me
She paced the halls while I was gone
But when I came home she did not jump up like she normally does
She walked with me to my seat on the couch
and brought me a blanket in her mouth

My dogs know that I am sick
And I am enjoying all of their love
Even if it is just for a little bit.

My daugter asked me today what I want to be when I grow up
I thought and thought and laughed out loud
How can answering such a simple question be so tough
I thought and thought and looked up at the clouds

I wrote a note and read a book, what ever do I want to be when I'm fully cooked
I thought and thought and laughed out loud
Do I want to be a doctor, a nurse, a student, a writer of best selling book
I thought and thought and looked up beyond the clouds

I think I know, oh wait I am grown
I thought and laughed and chuckled to myself
My life is great as it is now, there's no need to change a thing or frown
I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, sister and student,
A cook, and banker, farmer, stylist, driver, baker, all the above

I thought and I thought and looked at the clouds and laughed out loud

I am all grown up and I want to be exactly who I am, just me

It has occured to me now in my moment of weakness that my biggest fear is failure. I can not stand the thought of not succeeding. But I am now also re-evaluating what success is for me. I thought I was clear on what my idea of success is but I am feeling a little shaky now and maybe open for new possibilities. What I once equated to failure now seems to me to be the exact opposite. It is funny how being sick gives me the time and clarity to open up and really evaluate what my definition of certain concepts really is. It is so true that we go through different phases of life and I am so very different at 30 + than I was at 20 or 25 or 28 even. Wow.....I think it's times like this that I grow the most.

I have been away for a while. It is odd how we can be the picture of health one day and over night be ill for no apparent reason. It has made me think now that we have subconscious connections with people in this world and we feed emotionally off of one another. When we suffer emotionally we suffer physically. I am looking into this line of reasoning. Any comments?

I love me some him.....

It's air, oxygen in my soul, breath in my heart
It's chills when I smell his scent,
and
A skipped heart beat
When
I feel his breath and see his chest rise and fall
It's nothing words can capture, and love
That does not even come close to summing it all up
Its all the lovers who ever lived bottle up into one
No that does not even come close
It's something divine and inspired and beyond words
It's something that can only be shown not described
There is no one word
No one thought
No combination of all the words ever written or spoken
and
All the thoughts ever thought verbal and non verbal
It's loving even when you don't like
and
Being wrong even when you right
It's not anything you can say or write
Nothing you can ever say or think
Can even come close to scracthing the surface
Of..............
My love for my husband

Will you?

Fresh and new, honest and true
Something Old
Something New
Something Borrowed
Something Blue
Today, tomorrow, forever, I do

Soul Food

Vanilla ice cream melting over warm apple pie
Nothing more left to do before I die

Sweet juicey plump and ripe red and green grapes
No more left or right turns to make

The sweetest peas and corn you ever did taste
The best sweet potato pie and lemonade on a mild spring day

Better than all this, some may say?
The day you know you're with your soul mate!

Being a friend means...

Sometimes being a friend means...
you just be there, no explaning, speaking, no saying, just being
You sit there holding your best friends hand and
you cry with her even though you don't know why
You don't know why she is crying
you don't know why you are crying but
You cry anyway,
you cry until she stops crying and
You don't say a word,
you just be there,
You be there quietly, silently, solidly
you just be there.

I'd rather be freed by being enslaved...

I'd rather be freed by being enslaved.
Many of you won't get that thought,
but I'd rather be freed by being bought.

I knowed what to do cause I was told by you
I knowed where my next meal was comin from
I had a place to stay too so long as my work got done.

Paid no never mind to reading, writing, and rithmatic
Never wrestled with how to make ends meet
So long as I minded got what I needed and didn't even get beat.

Them Yanks came thought they done good
We don't want no freedom and the troubles that come with it
All we's wanted is place to sleep, food to eat, and mild days with no whippin.

I'd rather be freed by being enslaved.
Many of you won't get that thought,
but I'd rather be freed by being bought.